Don’t worry,” he smiled, pulling me into the hard warmth of his chest. “I’ve got you. I’ll always catch you when you fall.”
And just like that, Blaine had staked his claim on the untouched part of me that no living soul had ever moved. He had captured every fear, every reservation, and crushed them in the palm of his inked hand.
I can’t remember the last time I felt completely safe. Security seemed more like a luxury to me, reserved for those who were fortunate enough to have picture perfect childhoods. For those who didn’t bear the ugly scars that keep me bound in constant, debilitating fear. I’ve run from that fear my entire life. But when I met him, for once, I couldn’t run anymore.
He scared the hell out of me in a way that excited every fibre of my being. It wasn’t the tattoos or the piercings. It wasn’t the warmth that seemed to radiate from his frame and blanket me whenever he was near. It was just…him. The scary beautiful man that threatened to alter 23 years of routine and rituals, and make me face my crippling fear.
My name is Kami and I am constantly afraid. And the thing that scares me the most is the very thing I want.
***Inspired by true events***
We found out just how awful life can be. We found out that monsters were, indeed real. They walked among us. They looked just like you and me. They came in the form of the people that we loved and trusted the most.
Funny thing about life is that it never turns out the way you want it to. It's never fair. It's harsh and brutal. It kicks you when you're down. It makes you wish you could give up and part with it just to have a semblance of peace.
"Hey you don't have to pretend any more" Blaine said just above a whisper.
“Pretend?” I exhaled, the word coming out in a rush. What does he know of my pretending? There’s no way I could be that transparent. I’d had years of practice.
“Yeah,” he grinned crookedly. “CJ’s gone. You can stop pretending…that you girls are together. That you’re gay.”
I was hooked! There was something so intriguing about this teaser, and then finding out it was based on true events, I HAD to read it. Fear of Falling is hauntingly beautiful tale of a girl utterly broken, yet meets the man the might just be able to put the pieces back together. Every page was written so perfectly and emotionally moving, that I was completely engaged from the first page.
Kami Duvall has spent 23 years immobilised by her fears. She copes with every day, knowing that she is broken and there is no way to 'fix' her. The only love that Kami has ever been comfortable with is that from her roommates and best friends Dom and Angel. That's until she meets the scarily beautiful Blaine. From the moment their eyes connected, Kami was scared. Not the usual fear that consumes her daily life, the fear that someone is able to connect with her like no other. Blaine is adamant on being part of Kami's life and helping her face her fears, but will their love be strong enough to heal Kami's deep rooted emotional scars?
Its not what you think. And its not really the person I fear. It's me. It's my reaction to him. its the pure adrenaline that courses through my veins whenever were near. It's the excitement I feel when he says my name. It's the way his eyes penetrate the front I put on for the world, to see me for what I am. And I hate it. It scares the shit out of me because I like it too.
"Carpet muncher" Dom sneered.
"Whore" I shot back at him in Angels defence.
"Dick tease" he spat at me.
This was us: A modern, dysfunctional Three's Company. A lesbian rocker, an insatiable man-whore and a notorious commitment-phobe, all under one roof. Of course this was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to our laundry list of issues. And while we may sound more like a raunchy joke that begins with us walking into a bar, we had somehow become a family. Dom and Angel were as close as family could get for me. And in all honesty, they were the only two people on Earth that had even met the skeletons hanging out in my closet. Hell, they just moved them over to make room for theirs.
Her tears validated me. They gave me purpose, made me realise just how incredibly much I needed to be in this girls life. And just how much I needed her in mine, no matter how hard she tried to fight it.
Kami's demons has somehow become mine without even knowing them. And I swore on my life that I would fight every one of them. I would fight for her.